Catholic boy, you
have everything and nothing
to apologize for,
after spending your

first two months in an orphanage,
waiting for someone
to pay attention.

Your only marriage
ended in vitriol.
People who crossed the street
to avoid you

saw you nodded out later
in the downtown bars
and heard the neighborhood gossip.
Your warrants. Your hookups. 
Your children’s silence.

Where’s a cat o’nine tails 
when you need one? 
You never can find
enough ways to punish yourself.

Life may have been easy
at another time, but that
carries its own cost. 
Never go more than an inch deep.
Try not to get too wet.

---

Leah Mueller‘s work appears in Rattle, Best Small Fictions, Certain Age, Writers Resist, The Shallot, NonBinary Review, Brilliant Flash Fiction, New Flash Fiction Review, Does It Have Pockets, Outlook Springs, Your Impossible Voice, etc. She has received several nominations for Pushcart and Best of the Net. Her fifteenth book, “Porcelain and Vinyl” was published by Rust Belt Press in 2026. Check out more of her work at substack.com/@leahsnapdragon.