1. She self-published a memoir about the dangers of venturing into unknown territory. 
2. She founded a K-pop band called Goldi-who? 
3. She sued Sesame Street for turning her into a Muppet. 
4. She was punished for trespassing: locked in a broom closet with two rats for company. 
5. She self-published an academic text outlining the Goldilocks Principle: how to find the exact middle path between opposites. 
6. She dyed her hair black. 
7. She self-published a how-to book about learning self-control and respect for another person’s property. 
8. She developed the Ring camera security system.
9. She was punished for misbehaving: a shaved head and no food for a week. 
10. She self-published a novel about three kindly bears who adopt a troubled, young runaway. 
11. She kept thinking about the way the bears lived, in such close proximity, how cozy the house looked, how normal.  
12. She returned home and told her parents, Bears aren’t so bad. But they’re obsessive compulsive.
13. She returned home because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. 
14. She slept all the time and had to take pills to keep herself awake. 
15. She came back to the house and offered to flip and re-sell it, updating the living spaces with a mid-century modern makeover.
16. She came back to the house and said, I just need a place to sleep for one night. 
17. She came back to the house and told them she couldn’t think of a reason to wake up in the morning.
18. She came back to the house, rang the bell, introduced herself to the bears, apologized for the disturbance, fixed the bed and chair, re-heated the porridge, and joined her new friends for breakfast.
19. She was locked in her room without bread or porridge, and her parents came to the house and apologized for having such a rude, thoughtless daughter. 
20. She came back to the house and offered to be their pet. 
21. She kept repeating there’s no such thing as perfect, there’s no such thing as perfect, there’s no
22. She ran into the woods, where wolves lurked behind trees and a witch built another house out of sweet hard candy. She ran and ran.  

Beth Sherman is the author of the novella-in-flash, HOW TO GET THERE FROM HERE (Ad Hoc Fiction). She has had more than 250 stories published in literary journals, including Ghost Parachute, Fictive Dream, Bending Genres and Smokelong Quarterly, where she’s a Submissions Editor. Her work appears in Best Microfiction 2024 and 2026 and Best Small Fictions 2025. The author of five mystery novels, she can be reached on social media @bsherm36.